It’s crazy to think that the summer is almost over and kids will be returning to school in just a few short weeks. Eight weeks seems so long but yet it goes by so quickly.
Earlier this week I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts and the host shared his best advice for anyone in their twenties. It got me thinking, what about advice for those kids in their teens? I am now 31 years old and I still think about the things I wish someone had taught me when I was in high school. Not about math, biology, or history. But about life. Why isn’t Life 101 a mandatory class?
High school is such a social time. Some kids go there to learn but a lot go there to hang out, tweet, and post to instagram. For me, high school was a fashion show, a gossip fest, and a breeding ground for fights, bullies, and one week relationships. I still remember sitting in the parking lot before school and being terrified when a purple Eclipse parked five spaces down from me. The girl who drove that car had it in for me and she even tried to fight me behind a gas station once. And now she’s in jail, but I digress.
So what do I wish I had known in high school? I’m not sure I could ever enumerate the many things, but I do have a top 10 list. After a two hour conversation and many stories recounted with my best friend of 26 years, I’ve arrived at the following Top 10 Things I Wish I Had Known in High School:
1) The people who you think are cool in high school are not. In fact, their coolness factor expires the moment they graduate. I spent my four years of high school doing what I thought the cool people were doing. Doing things that weren’t exactly legal, staying out too late, defying my parents, and getting into more trouble than I care to remember. For what? For a boyfriend who later punched me in the face (he missed who he was actually trying to hit), for so-called friends who haven’t left home, and for memories that I would like to forget. I get it… high school is about finding yourself, experimenting, and messing up but use some common sense people. The nerds and goody two shoes of today are the successful people you’ll want to know of tomorrow.
2) Don’t be afraid to step outside the box. I have a sister who is 2 years older than me. When it came to what classes to take or what after school activities to participate in, I always did what she did. I didn’t know it was an option to do something differently and now that I look back at it, I would have wanted to do everything differently. If there is something you want to do, do it. Don’t not do it because you think people will judge you. It’s your path and your life. Do the things that make you happy.
3) Practice kindness. I can’t express this enough. People will forget what you wore to school or the grade you made on your calculus test, but they will never forget how you made them feel. In the end, kindness always wins and when you come back to your high school reunion 10 years later, be the person that left a positive impression on your classmates. A few years ago when I was teaching high school, a young student suddenly passed away. I had never seen or experienced so much grief among all students. Why? Because he was the kindest young man to everyone and nobody forgot that. Be that person. It will bring you more fulfillment than you could ever imagine.
—“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Ian Maclaren
4) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. We hear this a lot… if you don’t understand, ask. But for some reason, I remember having many questions in high school but always being too embarrassed to ask. I didn’t want to be the one who didn’t get it. But seriously, that’s like the dumbest excuse ever to not ask a question. Get over yourself, put your hand in the air, and ask. And if you still don’t understand, keep asking. Some students or even teachers may find this annoying but it’s your education and you have a right to understand.
5) Embrace challenges. Some people are drawn towards challenges and other people go the opposite direction. I was one of those go the opposite direction type people. Why? Because I didn’t want to fail. But for some reason, they neglect to teach us in school that it is only because of failure, that we have success. If something is hard, do it anyway. Doing the hard and challenging things now, will only make you a more successful, awesome individual later in life. And the more difficult things you do, the more bad ass you will feel.
6) Be kind to your body. This is probably where I failed the most in high school. I ate like crap, tried to starve myself, maybe smoked a cigarette or two, and didn’t sleep enough. The food that you put in your body fuels you to do the things you want to do. And from my experience, I can honestly say trying to starve yourself is a horrible idea. Not only will you in a permanent state of hangriness, but you’ll ruin your body for the next 30+ years. And as far as smoking and junk food goes, just don’t do it. It’s gross, it makes your face break out, and you’ll age yourself way before your time. Plus you’re only setting yourself up for illnesses later down the road. Be kind to your body. It’s the only place you have to live for your entire life.
7) Keep perspective: High school is just for 4 short years. The drama of today will be long forgotten and you’ll spend the first part of your adult years wondering why in the world you ever even cared about such things. In addition, the person you are today is not the person you’ll be in your twenties. And that person is completely different than the person you’ll be in your thirties. You are forever changing so try not to get caught up in trivial matters. Everything changes and so will you.
8) Create your own path. You do not have to follow in the footsteps of your parents. The world is an incredible place with incredible opportunities. I never understood that in high school and coming from a small town made it even more difficult to realize the possibilities. As the daughter of a teacher, what did I end up being? A teacher. But I now know, years later, that it doesn’t have to be that way. Believe me when I say you really can be anything you want to be. You only have to work for it.
9) Don’t waste your days. When it came to weekends and summer vacation, I often times slept in until lunchtime. What a waste of a perfectly good day! When I think about how I would waste half the day, laying around in bed, I can’t help but to feel disappointed in myself. Do you know how many other cool things I could have been doing? I could have been reading, creating, learning, volunteering, or anything else I wanted. Four years may seem like a long time, but it really isn’t And once you graduate, the world changes. Take this opportunity to explore and to learn more about yourself. You may never have another chance like you do now.
10) You deserve the very best. For some reason in high school I thought it was okay to have a boyfriend who was somewhat verbally abusive. Or that my friends could treat me crappy and that was okay. The truth is that it’s not okay. Stand up for yourself, be bold, and have a voice. If you don’t do these things for yourself, no one ever will.
So there you have it! Things that I wish I had known at the wise old age of seventeen. I write this as I sit in the library and watch two young high schoolers flirting over coffee. They look cute, but nervous. I wonder if I should go share this with them…. In the spirit of embracing challenges and stepping outside the box, I think I will.
And if you want more awesome advice like this about life, nutrition, and total body wellness click HERE. You’ll be glad you did. I promise.
Best of luck with a new school year and be fearless as you embark on new challenges. And as Dr. Seuss said, “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”
Stay Awesome,
T. Rod
Lessons from T.Rod 